Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Things you don't learn in school

The water in the pool is 90°F, something up with which we'll have to put.  I weigh about ten pounds in water, which is probably why my back hurts more when I get out.  I am a pool mammal.

[RUMBLE]

It rains most days now, for a little while, and there is always thunder.  Some of the cats are afraid of thunder (as I typed "afraid," Ellen began to claw at the sofa trapdoor).  That's because cats don't understand storms and are too dumb to be afraid of lightening.  I had a stepfather who reassured me by saying If you hear the thunder, it means you're still alive, which is true and stupid at the same time.

Annie has been working on the leak in the water tank (still, DW and Darlene).  She's down to the last thing she knows to try before there's nothing left but to replace the tank, so we're afraid to test it.

[THUNDER]

She also found a graywater valve cover that would allow us to dribble out through a cut-off garden hose onto the ground - if that were legal - instead of extending the slinky in a tell-tale sort of way.  Please note I am talking about gray water, not poop.  The Ducks do not endorse poopwater dumping onto the open ground except in certain circumstances, and the judge agreed to throw the case out if we immediately left the county.

[LIMB FALLING]

Annie fixed the drainage problem in the refrigerator with some ingenuity and saliva (her own).

I make jewelry more lately.  You know where to look.  If I could do that in the pool there would be no reason to leave other than to drain my gray water.

[CATS HEADING FOR STORM CELLAR]

I have always wondered why storm cellars in Kansas are separate from the house.  You'd think you'd want to have quick access without going outside.  I just figured it out.  Your house gets blown away, and being in a shallow open hole under it will have limited value.  Limited by how tight you can hold onto plumbing.  A hole in the ground covered by more ground would have to be safer, but that's the last place people go.

You do not have to watch PBS to learn something.

[ANNIE PUTTING ON HELMET]

We've been watching a lot of movies.  Blockbuster rents movies for 49¢ on Sunday during the summer, and Annie would rip those onto a computer to watch later if it were legal.  We used to go to the library on Saturdays, but Shannon recognizes us and talks gay to us for half an hour.  He hands us every gay-themed movie on the shelf, tells us the gay plot, tells us about his gay friends in Las Vegas, and tells us his church says gay is a sin.  We're the only gay people he knows here in Lake City;  we are exotic and exciting.   You've felt it, too.

[UNPLUGGING THE COMPUTER]

We go to the same fruit stand all the time, and now the men there give Annie extra fruit.  She's catnip.





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27 comments:

Bob said...

I think the extra ionised air of the electrical storm has started to have an adverse effect. Or is it "affect"?
*crap*
Just spray the cat ever so gently with water. Should make for a quick diversion. OK maybe not.

***
You have to admit, it is rather "amusing" when folks think they're being all "cool" and "hip" when they're all "OK" with the "gay thing".
Did I use enough quotation marks?
Must have been that second glass of wine. Oh geez, did I just say that?
Fun post (I think that's what I was going to say all along)
:) (nervous laughter)

Never mind.

heyduke50 said...

... what Bob said...

Karen and Al said...

You brought a few chuckles today. Thanks!

BTW, our 8 cats have all been to the underground storm shelter with us (and hated it).

Karen and Al said...

You brought a few chuckles today. Thanks!

BTW, our 8 cats have all been to the underground storm shelter with us (and hated it).

Carolyn said...

I'm going to try your stepfather's advice later this afternoon on one of the 9 kids running around the compound today. I'll let you know how it goes over.

Kathy and Robert said...

I love my pool weight~ Just sayin'
Kathy

The Good Luck Duck said...

Ha Bob! Yes, it does amuse me, and I might try your water spritz suggestion on Shannon next weekend. And, I am totally on board with Commenting While Drinking. Do you mean that the ionizing is making the cats crazy? A storm approaching excites us, so it makes sense.

Karen, I believe it! Cats are resistant to logic. Maybe play The Wizard of Oz for them so they get the picture.

Oh Carolyn, is it that time again?? Where is Kathy's Airstream, and does it lock from the inside? Thank god they're mostly-pleasant kids.

Kathy, you aren't kidding!! I speak whale every time I have to get out.

Tesaje said...

The last time I emptied my gray water tank, I was amazed at how clear the water was. Only a tiny bit of bubbles but really clear looking water. I think after all the cleaning and my sanitizing of the tanks last spring, I now have only my own effluent and my efforts at only biodegradable soaps, no food, no junk makes for very clean gray water. Bet you guys are the same.

Gaelyn said...

I had to fiberglass a gray water tank once. If that's not nasty enough it took a hairdryer and small electric heater to get the cracked area of the tank dry. Good luck with that.

Gray water is cool as long as there aren't 100s of people all dumping it in the same place.

(Pitter patter of female rain on the roof)

Carolyn said...

One of the really great things about the airstream is that I can see out, and they can't see in. I haven't had to lock it yet...

¡Vizcacha! said...

Tesaje, you would think so. We're very careful about what goes down, we've sanitized, use eco-friendly (and cruelty-free, if that matters to the bacteria) products, but the standing gray water is P-U. We're hoping that letting it drain out immediately is the answer, at least where we can. Minimize microbial loitering, and all that.

Gaelyn, that doesn't sound yummy at all. This is the whitewater tank that Annie has been working on, and we're hoping this works so we don't have to face any ugly truths about the tank's integrity.

squawmama said...

ROFLMAO... GREAT post!!!
Have fun
Donna

Judy and Emma said...

"something up with which we'll have to put." Oh my! Me thinks you need a little cooler water. :)

¡Vizcacha! said...

Carolyn, YAY for hidey-holes!

Thanks, Donna. Judy, definitely!

Chinatours said...

Nice blog, indeed, esp, the background pic. Greetings from China.

¡Vizcacha! said...

Thank you! Although, I can't take credit for this background picture - it's a Blogger gimme.

Carolyn said...

I hope we hear thunder today... always makes me feel cooler whether it rains or not... nary a cloud in sight right now ... forecasters promise though.

Never had a cat who disliked thunder but I had a Bassett mix who would uproot you running under your legs! HUGE ol dog - low to the ground - big sissy... the cats (2) the cats would sit about 3 feet in front of him, point and laugh and laugh...

Only going to be 95º with heat index - 105º in central Arkansas today... with promised thunderstorms which will then make it like a steam bath... but for that brief brief time! ahhhhhh

Soaring Sun said...

Sonja has found an unreachable (to me)shelf to lie on whenever there is thunder or when the tea kettle whistles or other scary things happen. Sometimes she just makes up the scary things in her weird little kitty cat brain. I have seen her stare into corners where there is nothing--NOTHING!!!-unusual going on, but then she does that funny cat-jumping-backward motion and heads quickly for the psychotic cat shelf.

Roxanne @ Eight Cat Design said...

Carolyn, those numbers make me feel sticky. Your bassett sounds like the guy who crouches down behind your knees while the cats push you backwards.

What's your dew point there? That seems more useful to me than relative humidity. Too much is already relative.

wheelingit said...

The "talking gay" thing had me in stitches. It reminds me of the most hilarious skit I used to watch in England (from the show Little Britian) which had the tag line "I'm the only gay in the village".
Good thing you're legal as well as exotic LOL :)
Nina

Carolyn said...

dew point? I don't know nuthin about a dew point... with our humidity? you add 10 degrees to the forecasted temperature.... some days the humidity is not as humid as the other humid days... so all you can really count on is that it's HOT ... and humid.... with thunderstorms predicted... the humidity is at its highest ... get goose bumps going outside...

Doesn't Florida have this?

Well Boogis (dog) is no longer with us... he would literally knock you down trying to get you to sit down and let him get behind your legs... and well, the cats... would come running when they heard the thunder because they knew Booge was gonna freak... dog weighed 85 pounds... ahhh ol Booge... great dog...

¡Vizcacha! said...

Sue, there is nothing unusual in that corner THAT YOU CAN SEE. Cats play with our minds. What's the story with your knee?

Nina, now I want to watch that show. I wonder if I could find it on DVD? Shannon didn't tell us about that one. I love Brit-coms.

Carolyn, most reports online will tell you the dew point. It's just the temperature at which the water in the air will start to dew out onto surfaces. Today, ours is 71°, which is a bit humid, but not officially "oppressive." Feels like 99°.

Carolyn said...

Probably the same thing, Roxanne... here the forecasters give you the heat index... we're inland... perhaps it's different coastal...

dunno... as I said... when the forecasters say... hi today 99º - with heat index - 109º ... I don't like it... regardless... really no reason to even listen to the weather forecast... it's going to be HOT and humid until somewhere in October! wanna go to the Pacific Northwest! now

Paul said...

You can catch a few of the episodes for free on YouTube. Just google "I'm the only gay in the village" and you'll get several hits right off. It's a typical Brit-completely-out-there skit. Love it!
Nina

Roxanne @ Eight Cat Design said...

Thanks, Nina! I did manage to find several brief clips, but no full episodes yet. I'm going to look at Blockbuster on Sun-"49¢"-day.

ThE MidLiFe CrUiSeR said...

WHAT???????? YOU'RE GAY??????? (j/k)
Hey, I know a gay person. She tortured me as a child. She tickled me until I peed my pants...literally. She was a mean gay...LOL! My big sister.

¡Vizcacha! said...

A mean gay - HAHAHAHAHA! I'm glad she got all that out of her system before she entered the dating world ... oh wait, I think I went out with her.

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