Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Apropos of everything.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

That polyp we took out of your colon was really big and about to go to the dark side.



Knock-knock.

Who's there?

That stupid colonoscopy saved your cheese.  Orange you glad we didn't say 'banana'?



They took pictures for the album.  Tubulovillous adenoma, schtubulovillous adenoma.  The last time an alien that big was in me, I let it get 40 weeks old and pushed it out.  


Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Goa.

Goa who?

Goahead and get a stupid colonoscopy when you're 50.

As Heard at Our House™


[watching steamy love scene set in RV]  Ooh, they have slides!

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29 comments:

Lisa said...

And THIS is why I followed you on Twitter. I didn't want to miss anymore posts and I'm too lazy to open my feed reader. Lame I am.

I'm taking note. I'm not yet 50 but this kind of thing has a history with my family.

One question. Can I be put under for the procedure prep? Another friend blogged about it and it sounds horrendous. She has Chrohns so it may be worse for her, but still. Yikes.

Merikay said...

Had on at 50, and am scheduled for another in February. 65+ Not fun but necessary.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Yay, Lisa - thanks for commenting! You're hilarious.

Yes, definitely you can be out for the procedure. I wish you could be unconscious for the prep, which is the unpleasant-ish part two days beforehand, which is just a lot of not eating what you want to, and eating what you don't want to and pooping continuously. During the procedure itself I got a nice nap and woke up briefly and tried to look at the screen. Stupid nurse in the way. They noticed me not being asleep and undid that.

Merikay, did you have one in-between, or are you on a 15-year schedule?

cathie said...

My mother died at 72 of colon cancer and my nephew died at 46 of colon cancer. I have had 3 colonoscopies and wish everyone would get theirs. A very easy way to save your life. One hint, make sure you schedule it for the very, very first thing in the morning. The prep is a pain, but has improved over the years. Another hint: get baby wipes and USE them!

The Good Luck Duck said...

Wow, Cathie, what a hit to your family. How often do you get the 'scopy?

Amen to the wipes. Also, the next time I have it done, I will start the PEG early and dilute it a lot with Gatorade. I didn't keep it down when it was 0.5 kg in two liters, but did alright when I cut it and kept sipping.

cathie said...

I get it about every 5 years or so. The last "drink" I had was a little bottle of phos....something that you just mixed into lemon gatorade. It was so much easier.

The Good Luck Duck said...

That does sound easier. I guess some docs worry about kidney problems, which is why they use the PEG, but I found it difficult as directed.

Andra Watkins said...

Roxanne, glad to hear that you will be with us for a while longer because you endured this procedure. I don't know what I'd do without your hilarious, irreverent brand of humor.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Aw, Andra. SQUEESH!

Wanderoke said...

Very Happy to hear you are ok. That's a heck of a way to interrupt turkey day.

Carolyn said...

knock knock

Who's there?

Gladys

Gladys who...

Gladys it's over and you're saved!

The Good Luck Duck said...

Thanks, Ish! Me, too.

Carolyn: *applause*

Donna K said...

I should have scheduled one for today...I have been thoroughly "Prepped" for about three days now!! I'll be 63 in a few weeks and still haven't worked up the courage to do this. Thanks for making me think about it again!!

Kate said...

Glad everything looks ok, and thanks for the heads up. I had one at 50, probably due again.

heyduke50 said...

if cancer is in the family it is recommended every five years otherwise every ten... just do it.. bottoms up!!!

The Good Luck Duck said...

Donna, I am the biggest wimp ever, not even kidding, and I got through it fine. You get to refuse all invitations - sorry, I'll be prepping that day! - and just sit around sipping the drink (which is fine if diluted enough). The procedure itself is a piece of cake. Other people do all the work. But, sorry you're already "prepped." That doesn't sound fun at all.

Yep, Kate, a good idea. The thinking about it is way worse than the prep, as you know.

You got it, Duke! A medical privilege for getting this old. Of course, the fee is substantial and now I want to research "Colonoscopies for Poor People." I was lucky to still have great insurance this time, but too many don't.

Soaring Sun said...

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Lemon.

Lemon who?

Lemon know if there's any other medical tests I oughta get besides this one.

The punchline was a letdown, I know, but I stuck to the citrus theme, which had some a peel to me.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Sue: *more applause* There's no such thing as a bad pun.

Joe said...

I turn 50 next year and I'm already puckerin!

¡Vizcacha! said...

Atta boy!

Hey, if you youngsters have some healthcare or insurance info for us other pre-retirement RVers, spill!

Maria B said...

I've had two already, and I'm only 46 - wha?!

I'm so glad you followed the standard of care and go that damn thing removed!

I woke up during my last one and looked at the screen, just for a few seconds, and thought: wow, look how pink everything is in there!

This spring it will be MG's turn... she is NOT going to like the prep...

cathie said...

Luckily, the company my husband retired from has pretty good coverage for preventative procedures. Didn't cost us a thing. We are 62, so have a few more years before all the mess of Medicare hits. My second one I stayed awake for. It was interesting, but then that's the kind of person I am. :)

Sherry said...

Well darn it you just make me feel so guilty. I'm still waiting for the prep to be a pill and not that horrid tasting stuff. I know. I know.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Maria, I'm glad you've got a good, young baseline view. I seem to remember that your genetic profile didn't contain the well-known nasty mutation, right? Yeah, I guess the standard of care was none too soon in this case, but still soon enough. No dysplasia.

MG will hate it, won't she??? But, she's so responsible she'll just power through and get 'er done.

Cathie, that's really great that you have good company insurance.

Ha Sherry! I hear there's a prep that's 32 pills; would that work?

TexCyn said...

I'd rather have a 2nd wankle surgery than go through that!!

The Good Luck Duck said...

I'll bet you wouldn't! This is more like CANkle surgery.

O. B. Sirius said...

There is colon cancer in my family, so I started routine colonoscopies early in life(40-something). Had lots by now. Baby wipes or tissues-with-lotion a MUST for the day before.

The procedure itself? A walk in the park. If you haven't had one, don't put it off, its "bothersomeness" is nothing compared with having colon cancer.

Glad they found your little hitchhiker and neutralized it! This truly is "better out than in."
Zoe

Contessa said...

Way nasty....but it's over and good for you!!

The Good Luck Duck said...

What Zoe said.

Thanks, Contessa!

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