Thursday, December 1, 2011

They thought I'd never amount to much.

Mom:  Annie, Roxanne is really lucky to have someone like you who can do anything.


[silence]


And, you're really lucky to have someone ... so docile.


Oh yeah, that's right!  I contribute, baby!

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I ran down to the Busy Bee for some standby orange juice. I noticed something unfamiliar tucked into a corner, and I thought of Andra (The Accidental Cootchie Mama - look for her in print soon).  I knew in an instant that I couldn't leave the Deep South without Cheerwine fueling my mitochondria.

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My mom:  "She'll take pictures of anything."  Yeah, that's what Ansel Adams' mom said, too.

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I graduated high school, more or less, in Fernandina Beach.  I graduated high school, essentially, in Fernandina Beach.  I graduated high school!  I did it, technically, in Fernandina Beach.  I was completing my first year of college while fulfilling the requirements for my HS diploma, which meant I didn't really hang out in Fernandina in my senior year, only my junior.  Thirty years later, I emailed my class president to ask him to invite me to reunions.   I'm not going, but a girl wants to be asked.

I told you that part so I could tell you this:  we went to FB today so I could "show Annie around."  Except, nothing was familiar.  My trailer park home was a Lowe's.  That's where I learned to put a penny on the tracks and watch it get flattened.  That's where we all had to coordinate wash days so the well didn't go dry.  That's where we'd cross the two-lane to wait for the bus, staying as far back as we could so the logging trucks didn't take us out in the dark like one did my classmate two stops away.  She was an identical twin and I don't remember her name.

Annie's Behind™
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Annie's Behind™ the World's Biggest Anchor Ever Attached to a Shrimp Boat that Doesn't Exist Anymore.   Before becoming the Dread Pirate Roberts, he was merely the Best-Avoided Pirate Roberts, mainly because he was a shrimp boat captain and always smelled like an appetizer.  In frustration, and desperate to move on and accomplish a dream, B-AP Roberts cut the line, dropped the anchor to the harbor floor, and let the trawler drift out to sea.  Almost immediately, he realized his mistake and swam out to the runaway boat.  He began what is believed to be the first RV (River Vessel) modification and converted it into a frigate.  He could sometimes be heard from the shore screaming "Frigate!" when he wanted to put down the anchor he used to have.

That's what the sign should have said, but signs lie.






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Post Office


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Not the Post Office


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Blogging has come a long way from the time we bloviated on stone with our chisels and ran down to our neighbor's hut to ask him to follow us.  Pictures go a long way toward conveying a feeling, but I need Smell-o-Vision to really, REALLY take you to Fernandina Beach.  This is the best I could do.

It is our earnest and honest intention to leave Florida on Monday.  


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27 comments:

Jim and Sandie said...

Trips down memory lane - good and bad - depending.

TexCyn said...

Oh your parents are so cute as is your town. OK, we'll all be tagging along on your new adventures. I suppose you're heading west?

Steve said...

Hahahaha ... you said "behind"

Carolyn said...

Haahaaa.. Steve said you said 'behind' do he not know you?

Well... that's a very pretty town! I'm going to google to see where it is....

Hey to Annie.

Wanderoke said...

There isn't anything Docile about the crew of The Good Luck Duck! Willing...nay, Drivin to go boldly into the reclined position of the road less .. well... some type of road anyway!

It's great to have you back!
Bottom's Up,
Ish

Wanderoke said...

yeah, drivin is spelled with an E, see what a high school diploma did for me? Driven.

Rubye Jack said...

"I'm not going, but a girl wants to be asked."
Isn't this the story of our worlds?

Personally, I'd rather not talk about behinds. Why look back?

The Good Luck Duck said...

Both, Jim and Sandie. Melancholic to not be able to recognize anything.

Yeah, Cyn! Westward ho (watch it!).

Ha, Stevis!

Carolyn, it really is very pretty. I didn't mention that the historic district is really a district, and not just a thin veneer of "old" down one road. Plus, there's a harbor on one side of the island, and ocean a couple of miles away.

Ish, I got a diploma and now I think I'm a duck. Higher high-school education is no guarantee of good spelling or stability.

Rubye Jack, when I'm talking about my behind you know I'm scraping the bottom ... of the barrel. And, you're right. Somehow I want first right of refusal.

BeckyIO said...

Ahh Cheerwine! I'd never heard of it until I moved down to SC, tastes kinda like Dr. Pepper to me.

TexCyn, you show Salukis, that's awesome. :) They are my favorite breed of dog, so elegant. For a while when I was in college I wanted a show quality puppy real bad. There was an annual dog show in Madison WI (where I lived at the time) and I just loved attending. I even contacted a kennel in the area (Aeolus) and got a lot of information and expressed my interest in the breed. Of course I didn't have the money, space, or time to seriously consider Saluki ownership let alone showing one. The idea still pops up in my mind from time to time, but if it happens it'll be quite a ways in the future - I can't see living full-time on the road with one in the tiny RV I'm going to have.

Andra Watkins said...

Cheerwine is what God drinks. I'm giving it to my five-month-old guide son (okay, really, his dad) for Christmas.

The anchor story is hilarious. You actually made me WANT to visit FB (Fernandina Beach, not Facebook.)

Thank you for the irreverent plug. Those are the best kinds of plugs, because they're seriously meant, but we can't take them seriously.

Sherry said...

Docile? HUH? I thought mothers knew things. I did when I was a mother.

How come you didn't have to grow up AND go to high school in Ohio??? SO TOTALLY unfair.

Those pics make the town look totally cute!! I'd have gone to High school there too if I could have. But alas I didn't and more alack I wasn't smart enough to be gone senior year so they wouldn't ask me to the reunions.

Donna K said...

Thanks for the tour. Those are some pretty interesting buildings and street scenes. I really think you should get a job as a sign writer. I am sure your version of the anchor story was much more interesting than what was actually on the sign. Where do you come up with this stuff??

Barbara and Ron said...

Roxanne, granted I don't really know you, but from reading your blog, I would say 'docile' just isn't how I would imagine you. When I lived in Jacksonville, I often visited your lovely town, especially during the Shrimp Festival. How fun.

Bob said...

The no "smell-o-blog" thing works for me. I've had to describe smelly people, and I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone, especially not a follower.
And I've smelled money. It doesn't smell like that.
If it's any consolation, I've been invited to high school reunions. Never gone. I don't think I'd recognise anyone. Hardly recognised anyone when I went to school, but thirty, no wait, 35 years later? Not a chance.
Besides, I can just imagine me saying, "Right, you were an idiot then, and look at you now, still an idiot! Who knew?"
See, that wouldn't be good.

The Good Luck Duck said...

I agree, Becky - Dr. Pepper, but cherryer. You should talk more with TexCyn; I think her RV is fairly small.

Andra, it's to your writing credit that I remembered exactly where I had read about Cheerwine. If it had been some ordinary blog I would have said, "and then I saw some Cheerwine so I bought it." I haven't done much toward getting inside the Pearly Gates, so maybe a case of Cheerwine (regular or diet?) would oil that persnickety portal.

It's true, Sherry. I guess I'm lucky that my parents didn't have the persistent Midwest bug, and got tired of snow. I think if a person must go to high school, it might as well be somewhere cute.

Thank you, Donna. May I use you as a reference? Those signs are so dull I've fallen comatose before I get to captured in 1832 by Major General Joh ... Zzzz They come out of a very bored place inside my head.

Thanks, Barbara; I never aspired to be "docile," so I'm glad I cover. You lived in Jax?? When? What part? I lived there for 10 years: Southside, Fort Caroline area, Jax Beach, Atlantic Beach, near San Marco. Also Orange Park and Green Cove Springs. I went to one Shrimp Boat Festival, and that would have been (*counting on toes*) 1977.

Bob, I could tell you the full names of five people I went to school with that year, and I dated one of them. I can remember your name, so let's go out! High school was the nadir of my existence (so far), so I can't imagine having it served warmed-up 35 years later.

And, okay. I'll give you a pass on the smell-o-vision. Or, I'll save it for a sagey desert.

Bob Giddings said...

Cheerwine is available in Texas at Spec's Liquor stores. At least in the Austin area. About 20 bucks a case.

And it doesn't taste a bit like Dr. Pepper. It tastes like dark cherry cola. Both tart and sweet. And that's good.

I've never seen the diet version. And that's good, too.

squawmama said...

Nice trip down your memory lane ~ Have fun on your new adventures!!!
Travel safe
Donna

The Good Luck Duck said...

Small price, Bob, if it gets me into heaven. I'll need to check into that as we go west. Okay, would you believe Mr. Pibb? The Doctor and the Mister are commercial dark cherry cola Cheerwine knock-offs - how's that?

Thanks, Donna! Keep Florida warm for me.

Contessa said...

Are you sure you want to leave Florida? Last chance!

The Good Luck Duck said...

I must not be too sure!

Soaring Sun said...

I appreciate the honesty of the person who wrote that a paper mill town smells like a big fart. I used to live in Oregon, where everyone was in denial about this. Or used to it. I couldn't tell. I just know it stunk to me, but nobody else would acknowledge it.

Annie said...

Roxanne...thank you as always for making me laugh.

Dough, Dirt & Dye

The Good Luck Duck said...

Sue, were they trying to gaslight you? Really? You think you smell a big fart? I don't smell anything. Joe, you smell anything? No, me neither.

Annie, thanks for being so easy. :D

Tove said...

What a cute town! Looks just like I imagine American small tows should look like!

bhikkhu john said...

"Yeah, that's what Ansel Adams' mom said, too." Ahhaaahaaahaaaa! That was good.

I loved the post and the photos.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Tove, you're right. It's very cute, and I didn't notice a lot of downtown abandonment (empty storefronts, etc.). I think this town knows how to work it.

John! Always good to read that you've been here. Thanks!

lesliewhozit said...

Frigate!!

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