Saturday, January 14, 2012

Hello Madre, hello Padre, here we are at Camp Grenadre.

I told a friend once that I hoped this thing we're doing would change me.  Not that I needed to erase some smelly, evil smudge on my soul - I like my smudges, thanks - but, that I wanted to sense that how I see myself has shifted.  Continues to shift with time.  It seems, though, that you can't even begin such a project without changing;  that it isn't possible to seriously conceive of starting a life over without already having permanently shifted.   

Lots of you have started over, sometimes more than once.   Are you willing to share what changed for you on the inside?

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Please meet our friends, Obadiah (4) and Bella (6).
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Bella and Obadiah love cats.  Specifically, Bella and Obadiah love Bob.

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Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

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They live with their two little brothers in a school bus, along with their parents (who look like L.L. Bean models).  The family is from Indiana, and they decided they wanted something other than the life they were living;  they hit the road this past September.  We've been neighbors for two weeks, and we met while dumping our potties into the chemical toilet.  You know how it is: you're waiting in line with a gallon of urine and you just start talking about stink control.  
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Within the National Park is an old overnight corral and sleeping quarters for cowboys driving cattle in the early part of the 20th century.  Pat Dunn owned the whole island and used it to graze his cattle.  It's roped off to prevent vehicular traffic, but it didn't stop my hooves.

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I picked up a little marching cadence:
I don't know, but I've been told
Bacillus spores just can't get old

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The Castle Anthrax
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Walk past the old corral ...

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... get a treat.

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Photo by Chris

It's been fun here on the Laguna Madre, and we're ready to fun-seek on down the road.  


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36 comments:

Wanderoke said...

What changed on the inside?

After my wife died, the realization that I do not really know myself, and I have a strong desire to find out what makes me, me.

wanderoke.blogspot.com

Great drawing of Bob !!!

The Good Luck Duck said...

Thanks, Ish. That sounds really huge. I wonder if that's a catholic basis for all shifts.

Sherry said...

Great pictures! The first and last are my favorites!

Changes on the inside - this is an excellent question. My life on the road is pretty much a continuation of the slow down and spend more time in nature plan that I'd been dreaming about. I don't have it perfected yet but I'm hoping a more spiritual feeling of connectedness will be the result.

Anonymous said...

Changes on the inside: I am much more relaxed now that all I own can fit inside my 21' ToyHome, I sleep better and just generally am better at going with the flow. The intensity with which I value my friendships has increased a hundredfold. I don't suffer fools lightly, life is too short. I have learned that I love spending time with friends or family, but I also love my alone time. I am overall much happier, I often find myself reflecting on the phrase "life is good" and I am so incredibly grateful that I feel this way.

Goodnight dear ducks!

VtChris

D0N said...

Very cool. Great looking kids. Although, I don't know about naming a person obadiah. That's starting the kid off with a disadvantage in my opinion. Imagine if your name was obadiah. Yikes. No thanks.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Thanks, Sherry! I would like to have that happen, too. I suspect I may need to pay more attention to my meditation practice (=have one), or at least gently pull myself back to mindfulness.

Chris - I like it all! I was thinking about how quickly travelers get to the marrow. How we can be talking to strangers about our rigs and then on to our dreams for the near- and more distant future. Why we're living this life. What matters to us. And, it does't feel hokey or contrived, it feels real.

The Good Luck Duck said...

D0n, I don't know that it would be my first choice, either. The dad's name is Micah, though, so maybe he started off with a minor Hebrew prophet theme, and then his wife stepped in with the next two.

Lou said...

Great and fun pics as always, and the anthrax shack?! YIKES! The change for me was to realize that I had to move on from a bad 1st marriage even though it was horrendous to not be able to see my daughter all the time. Now I'll be celebrating 25 years of a very happy marriage in a few months. Sometimes you just have to turn your life upside down to get it right.

Suzanne said...

Although I am not there yet, I can certainly tell you what has changed for me on the inside thusfar. At the risk of turning a beautiful message into a cliche', Steve Jobs said it best when he said,

"Don't waste time living someone else's life."

A 3 bedroom, beige brick ranch house in suburbia was someone else's life.

As I always replied to my friends when they would say, "Oh, but you've got it MADE!," "yes, but it just isn't 'made' for me!"

The Good Luck Duck said...

Lou, I did something similar once upon a time, and I don't know that I've ever done anything that hard before or since. Good for you for breaking through the pain to get a good life.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Suzanne, YEAH! Jobs said a smart thing or two in his day. You are quite on your way. I can't wait to see what's next.

Carolyn said...

LOVE the pictures.... and really like the area.. consider Port Isabel and South Padre Island before leaving the entire area ... as well as Brownsville and well, even Harlingen.

The RGV is different and if you haven't experienced it ... it's ... well, different.. Haa ... Texas is such a big ol diverse State.

The Laguna Atascosa Wildlife Refuge is beautiful. I ran into a fox looking at me ... we stared each other down!! I was bigger but he was slyer and he won ... there are ocelots as well as spectacular birding.

http://friendsofsouthtexasrefuges.org/?id=224

Travel changes us... that's why I like traveling. well, as I told m'kid... expands one's horizons... I know you read my blog ever now and then as well as having met me.

I believe you know what a todo I am… ;) I'm still trying to figure out what it is that I want to be when I grow up. I don't want to be a grownup and so y'see there's always that conflict... bah

I constantly seek change. I thrive on learning new things daily. It really really is a trip ... our lives. Meeting people who touch our lives both positively and negatively help us learn about ourselves.

Learning about people who are different from us… their world. Fascinating. Each of us has a world… why we were put in our particular world is well? am I writing a blog post… HAHaaaaaa oh, me… I do like to go on

Each decade or each transitional period each of us experiences --- whether leaving home… leaving a job … retiring … lifestyle changes… whatever… changes as we age. What I wanted at 18 was totally different from what I wanted at 28 and so forth.

The trick of learning oneself is some kind of magic trick that no one we know can divulge how it is done. Some think they do because they need to find an explanation and will grab onto what makes sense to them. They do not like to seek.

The people who finally learned how it was done are dead.

always something

Andra Watkins said...

What changed inside? Dang. I could write a book.

Maybe I will someday on that topic.

Short answer. I had to take charge of my life, realize my happiness was up to me, and stop living to try to please my mother. I could never write that on my blog, but I can on yours. :)

It is still hard. But life isn't easy, and embracing it costs pieces of us. I'll gladly shed those pieces, but it still smarts when they come off.

You and Annie have found a lovely place. I am looking forward to where the Duck takes you next.

ain't for city gals said...

What has changed me for last few years was reading two books by Echert Tolle...The Power of Now and A New Earth. And thirty years ago reading Co-Dependant No More by Melody Beatie(sp?)...like some people go to the bible for guidance I go to those 3 books...

heyduke50 said...

not sure people can change much on the inside without a near catastrophic experience providing the catalyst... it took many years for most of us to get "wired" the way we are and it difficult to undo... I am however, changing a lot on the outside - I am much browner :)

Karen and Tony said...

Great photographs!

Changes inside - we went fulltiming for one year when we were were very young. Even though almost everyone we knew had predictions about all of the terrible problems and situations we would encounter nothing bad happened! We had a wonderful time and realized that we could do anything and live any way that we wanted. If you really want something hard work and perseverance will usually win out.

Unfortunately something bad did happen on our second (and current) fulltiming adventure - more hard work and perseverance but the main thing that changed for me is that I no longer get angry,upset or aggravated over trivial and sometimes not so trivial things. There are too many good things that spending time and energy harboring anger or any other negative feeling is just a waste .

TexCyn said...

Wow Suzanne, you hit the nail on the head with the Steve Jobs saying of don't waste time living someone else's life! I'm doing exactly that right now & I can say it sucks! I'm still going through changes, but bad things just keep raring their ugly head at me & keep me stranded here...I want to be free!!

TexCyn said...

PS, I meant to comment on the kids pics - totally precious! I can stare at kids art for hours, it is truly amazing to see their imaginations through it. Also, I could even get "lost in time" on those buildings. I don't know why, but my mind goes back in time as though I lived that life too.

Janie and John said...

That is one thought provoking question. I think for me it is realizing how little I need to make me happy. I don't think we look at all our possessions as a burden but when I got rid of most of it all of a sudden it was like the weight of it all was lifted off my shoulders. I think the other is realizing how much I not only love my husband but how much I like him too.

Teri said...

First, I just love your blog and your creativity. I have only been full-timing for 2 months, so no major changes, I find I still have some bad habits that I don't like, but see them diminishing. I also am discovering what I "like" and "don't like" as far as scenery, location, etc. Ask me again in a year.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Carolyn, I admire about you that you don't think you've got it all figured out. On the other hand, you make me realize I won't ever get it figured out, either.

Andra, that is really huge, isn't it? I actually think it has only been about a year and a half that I haven't heard my mother's voice in my head. Even worse, I realized the things I heard her say in my head aren't even the things she would really say. I had someone else's mother! You're brave: I'm afraid those pieces will hurt too much coming off.

Not a city gal, I keep thinking I would also enjoy reading Tolle. Maybe it's time to keep an eye out for him.

Duke, at least you're getting some melaninic changes happening. Here's hoping you don't have anything catastrophic to change more than that!

Karen, I am inspired by your attitude about the changes that came from the "something bad." I spend too much time worrying about what I will do if "something bad" happens. And, all that worrying doesn't prepare me for anything, anyway.

Cyn, I know things have been very discouraging for you. Still, you're making serious progress, even if it doesn't always feel like it. And, yes about kids' art. It catches the imagination somehow. Did you ever do a "past life regression"? I did one for fun at a women's festival, and it was (unintentionally) hilarious. I suppose it's possible I was the only first-time-arounder in the group. :D

Aw, Janie! That's so sweet! How lucky to find out you actually like the guy you've been loving all this time. And, YES to the relief over getting rid of stuff.

Thanks, Teri! I think a lot must shift in that initial push-off from shore. I've stopped trying to give up bad habits, and am just introducing good ones in-between. Maybe I'll run out of time for the bad ones ... HAHAHAHA!

stillhowlyn said...

The shift took place when...I hated what I was doing and had been for 25 years; sold or gave away all this accumulation of stuff-so cathartic; moved into a small motorhome, and never looked back and never regretted the decision to follow the sun. How blessed is this!!!

Rubye Jack said...

I've started over three different times and I've been thinking since yesterday about your question. I think for me what happened inside is I began to see a new and better way of doing things and over time developed a certain restlessness and curiosity that took over my being and gave me the strength to move out and move on. I've never regretted any of my starting overs, and actually think they have been good for my soul.

Carolyn said...

No… I don't have anything figured out. The longer I live, the more I know that I don't KNOW anything…. well, except weather changes and a bee'll sting you if you piss it off. And if you slice cucumbers and put them on a saucer while you're eating outdoors…. they won't bother you… ;)

But life? hah… after life? hah…

and BTW I posted a post about your post and put a disclaimer that it was without your permission and so well… can you blog sue?

Bob said...

Hm, what changed me inside? Or maybe it's what changed my insides? At first it was diverticulitis, and later that was augmented with something called "spastic colon". Oh joy.
Well, actually more like *ouch*.

Those two fellers can change yer insides I'll tell ya.

Wasn't that the question?

Oh, and on a not so "deep" level, we (significant other and I) came to a consensus years ago to if not completely avoid, then at least remain cautiously suspect of whiners and/or complainers.
Seriously, I don't like Soap Operas on the tube, and sure as HELL don't want to get involved with one in real life.
Just sayin'.

And...I have to try that "cucumber outside" thing. Never heard of that one. Do you eat the cucumber while it's keeping the bees away? (I think they're actually wasps, but whatever.)

Nice pics btw.

Keep it between the ditches.

Soaring Sun said...

Inner change has happened many times, in many ways. Stopping all addictive substances except coffee. Having a child and realizing the great capacity for love that I already had but had never experienced.

More recently I've finally had the time for a consistent meditation practice. Learning to use all the portals to the Unmanifested, as Tolle calls it, is bringing about the biggest change so far.

Many times in the past few days, I could have lectured my kid about personal responsibility, but instead I felt the sunshine and breathed the fresh air and was thankful just to be with him.

Contessa said...

Most important you look happy and relaxed. Is that not enough....for now!

¡Vizcacha! said...

StillHowlyn, was there a moment when it occurred to you that you didn't have to do it anymore? I had that moment in another do-over, and it was possibly the most amazing single moment of my life. It is blessed, isn't it?

Rubye Jack, I hope to know you long enough to accumulate the knowledge of your startings-over. I don't think I have ever truly felt restless or curious until particular do-over.

Bob, glad you're keeping an eye on your insides. I still feel a twinge where they took something that was inside and brought it outside. Still, better out than in, as Shrek would say. I agree with you about whiners, or ... were you talking about me? In that case, what you said about whiners is all wet!

Carolyn, wasps are afraid of salad. And, I saw your blog post, and I'm calling my blog-lawyer.

Sue, another Tolle reference! That guy is getting a lot of air time - it's time for me to put my hands on him. I hear you about the lectures. He already knows, though. Enjoying him is the better path. I want to be consistent in my practice (i.e. having one), but I don't want it enough yet.

¡Vizcacha! said...

Contessa, yes! And, probably a manifestation of whatever's going on inside!

Carolyn said...

Bob? well, I don't eat the cucumbers in the bee plate!

Wasps are bees? well? this is interesting… you don't think there are bees? but… well, obviously you never saw Pooh and the Honey Tree….

bees make honey and wasps make those incredible looking nests and hang 'em over your doorway …. and they're meaner than bees I think so…. especially those red ones. mean

Roxanne? wasps are afraid of salads? HAHaaaa…. see!? I learn something every day… wasps are afraid of salads… haaaaa… I never.

oh, and Sue… I love what you said about your son… afreakinmen!

"Many times in the past few days, I could have lectured my kid about personal responsibility, but instead I felt the sunshine and breathed the fresh air and was thankful just to be with him."

… yes… that really hit me… my son has been with me for almost two weeks now… QUIT lecturing and enjoy…. yes

love this thread, Roxanne… well, obviously… I stole it ;) and well…. as I said -- I'll pay you off in beads.

¡Vizcacha! said...

Oh, do NOT BE TEASING me with beads! I am a freak for those things. Is there a bead shop here in PA? Found one already in CC.

Carolyn said...

Yup… even got a picture ;) … it's in Rockport… very good one too!

http://amigoingsomeplace.blogspot.com/2011/11/beat-hen-dancing.html

kim said...

great question, and really great answers, been wanting to add my quack to the flock as well. I agree, could write a book!

To me the main change inside has been a sense of peace, a letting go. All the things that i felt i needed (house, stuff, roots) somehow aren't important at all.

Minimal lifestyle = Freedom, adventure, and the time to enjoy. We don't have a lot of money now, but we don't have nearly the expenses.. so freedom comes in many forms i guess... who'd have thunk?

¡Vizcacha! said...

Kim, yeah! Peace. Letting go. I like it.

I still have fears that grab me in the tiny morning hours. But, I had fears sleeping in each of my houses, too. My lizard brain isn't in charge of keeping me happy, just breathing. I'm trying to welcome it as just another of the voices inside my head.

Lu and Terry Oburn said...

First of all, I must say that this is an amazing question; one I have been pondering since I read your blog. We have not been on the road long enough for me to feel that this phase of my life has changed me that much yet. Over the past few years we have gradually been giving up stuff and slowing down and it has been a liberating experience. Seeing the struggles that so many others are going through right now, I am thankful to not be so attached to things. Probably the thing that has changed me the most on the inside is going through a dysfunctional childhood, like so many of us have. Looking back, I can now say that I am grateful for the experience, as it has made me more compassionate, with a strong desire to give back to others. Thanks for the thought provoking post. We are really enjoying your blog.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Lu & Terry - thanks for that. It really is a process, isn't it? And, reading your comment, I realize that the change has already been happening for years. The emotional changes needed to make the physical changes - or maybe the other way around.

That's a very compassionate way to think about your childhood. Spending six months with my mom this year helped me to reframe my own childhood in a positive way. That was an unexpected means of change for me.

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