Saturday, June 2, 2012

I expect them any time now

It's completely solved. There is no more mystery - please return to your seats. The sojourning LDS kids are from Gilbert, Arizona, and this was a religious exercise. This is the kind of thing  you learn from geocaching.†

This got me thinking about young people in non-mainstream religions, and team-building, and attrition. I was going to write about it, and then I got bored, and then I got sleepy.

They should be marching back through at any moment, and despite a long walk already today, they will probably be excited because they're just about eight hundred yards from their cars as they pass us.

A: Because I always like to have a theme, the hallmark of quality writing.
Q: Why am I telling you about Augason Farms?

Our friends, Darlene and Downwind Nicole told us about them, and we've been using their products since we first found them in Yuma. The deal is that they are dehydrated, so a lot of food is pretty light. It doesn't weigh your rig down like an equivalent amount of hydrated food would. The other deal is that, while most dried fruits add sugar and oil, these fruits are just made of fruit. Another deal is that they taste good. Some more deal is that none of the meal ingredients we've used have any added salt or fat.

They have a pretty big selection of gluten-free foods, too, if that's something you're looking for.

We've used their meat substitute and like it as well as the frozen variety. Vegetable stew is good. Onions, good. Bell peppers, good. Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, apricots=yummy. Apples=fine. Sometimes we're out in the woods and we run out of fresh fruit and veggies. It's good to have these.

What I mean to say is that our microwave hole is full of these things.

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When I looked them up to write this post, I discovered that I could apply to be an affiliate. ohpleaseohpleaseohplease I don't know if I'll be accepted, because I don't talk much about the preparedness movement, or zombies, or a great tribulation, but I do talk about craving fruit in the woods while watching your wife eat the last banana. If that's not survival training, what is? If that's not tribulation, you don't want to see tribulation.

You can find a few of these products in the Southwest, mostly in Walmarts. The target markets are survivalists and Latter Day Saints, both of whom want a stockpile of good food for when the power goes out permanently at the Sizzler. I would like to assert that boondockers and other RVers should be their target market, too. During the ZombiLypse, we are going to be on the move, gas tanks and automatic weapons full, looking for a healthy, low-cal nosh that doesn't take a lot of brains to prep. Or, make a shambles of the kitchen.


I read the sign at the mouth of the road while I was looking for a cache.

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30 comments:

Andra Watkins said...

Hahahaha! I knew it had to be something like that, but your take on it is always so much better than what I can imagine. I'll click on the GF link. Always looking for alternatives that do not taste like styrofoam. Hope Annie is feeling more like herself.

Michael Ultra said...

I am well stocked with ammo. If 'they' don;t get me first, I"m in there!!

Michael Ultra said...

Well....if punctuation doesn't count.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Haha, Michael. Zombies hardly ever read, so it's all good.

Thanks, Andra - Annie is starting to perk up (yay!). And, I always try to present the unvarnished semi-truth of the matter.

Russ Krecklow said...

Did you have some deal on geocaching zombies that I missed some how? How much ammo will it take, and if punctuation doesn't count, do spelling mistakes? I sometimes make mistakes spelling, especially after eating food that's not hydrated properly. But I can be compressed and stored for later, if necessary. Thank you for all of the wonderful information and if you becomes affiliated, will that mean you get a discount?

The Odd Essay said...

I've been geocaching for over 7 years and I sure haven't come across anything like this... I guess I miss all the fun.... Maybe I should just stay home and water my pineapple slices....

Texas Yellow Rose said...

" . . . doesn't take a lot of brains to prep." If that's the case, then the zombies won't be these are very tasty and your stash is safe! Sorry, sorry, sorry, but I simply could NOT resist. 30 lashes with a dehydrate noodle . . .

Texas Yellow Rose said...

dehydrateD noodle, even. I was in such a giddy state that I omitted the D.

intrepid-decrepit-traveler said...

We might be some of the above, or none of the above, but having products like these would be right handy... for any reason, or for when the power goes out permanently at the Sizzler! (haha, good one!)

Carolyn said...

I don't understand any of this... You found some LDS kids while geocaching? they told you about this while trying to direct your soul to their place?

But you were left with survivalist food ...

Whatever

Annie should get the last banana ... She's been sick AND it's called being kind to your wife, period

Teri said...

I've read about those products and thought they were perfect for RVers. I plan on working in Alaska in 2013 or 2014 and thought it would be good to stock up on the dehydrated stuff in case the stores are very far away from the workamping areas.

Sherry said...

Now those things look great for RVers. Where are the marketing people to TARGET us?? BTW, were there any ducks in that caravan or were they crossing through the desert with none at all. I assume that they would know cows, pigs, horses are not the only animals to be brought into the promised land.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Sherry, that made me look up whether ducks are kosher (yes, and fabulous). No, they were traveling without farm animals, which I assume the animals preferred.

Teri, I hear groceries are expensive in Alaska, so stocking up would be extra-good.

Pretty much, Carolyn, it's just as you describe.

Intrepid, I agree. it is handy to have them around. We tend to use them as our fresh-food supplies dwindle between shops to extend our time not-shopping.

Yellow Rose, I think they would also find me not very tasty, but giddy.

Sharon, just eat those slices crunchy. It's more fun.

Russ, I'm sorry to have created so many problems for you. Still, Donna has confirmed that you store well. And, I would hope to get a discount - yeah!

Donna K said...

You did read the story about the zombie apocalypse incident in Miami last week??? Not pretty - perhaps now is a good time to store some dried fruit and head for the hills.

P.S. I tried to "store" Russ at Walmart but they wouldn't keep him...

Brenda A. said...

Dried fruit with no added sugar? Sign me up! I just recently realized that all that dried fruit I'd been putting in our salads had added sugar ON TOP OF the natural sugars in it. Holy crap.

Gaelyn said...

Can you get dehydrated zombies at WalMart too?

For living in the middle of know where you sure do have some unusual entertainment.

BTW, fire bands are everywhere. Don't let that stop you from visiting the cooler North Rim.

squawmama said...

Well now I have to go find them and try it... Sounds interesting for sure.
Have fun & Travel safe
Donna

Tesaje said...

Ummm, LDS don't care if it's kosher - that's Jews, and only the ones that are sticklers. LDS have their own list of don'ts. Some weird and some that are now proven to be healthy (ha ha). But nothing like the Jewish list.

Ya know, those LDS kids are getting off easy. If they really want to know what it was like, they should have to wear the shoes the original pioneers did. And be married young to old men with several other wives.

Interesting site. But they are not organic so dried pesticides don't appeal to me. And they give you no information on how much they rehydrate to. Of course, I've never seen organic produced offered freeze dried anywhere.

The Good Luck Duck said...

It's true, Tesaje, Mormons don't do kosher, but Sherry mentioned the Promised Land, and nothin' says "Jewish" to me like "Promised Land." And, you can always rehydrated the pesticides so they're not so dry.

Donna, I think they have a store locator on their site. I don't remember seeing any on the east coast, but it doesn't mean there are none.

Gaelyn, that is a great product idea for people for whom the Zombie Apocalypse cannot get here fast enough. Walmart, Zombies, and RVs. The connection is coming clearer!

Okay, we won't write off the North Rim.

Brenda, doesn't that toast your croutons? What is the point of all that sugar?? The texture of these is different, though, more like a crispy snack.

Donna, I heard about that! It's time to drive our RVs RIGHT OUT of Miami! After you've arranged for suitable Russ storage. Did you ask at the Layaround counter?

Vicki said...

I read your blog all the time,don't post much...but I gotta say...your all a bunch of quakers : ) Thanks fer da lift and smile!!!

Oh...an thanks for the recommendation of Augason Farms

The Good Luck Duck said...

Thanks for reading and posting, Vicki! I take your words as the highest praise!

Contessa said...

Great idea about the D food.....maybe you can sell it!

The Good Luck Duck said...

That would be cool, Contessa, but I think being an affiliate is my only financial option with this company. Their prices are already decent, so there's probably not room in their margin for a hefty commission.

Tesaje said...

The point of all that sugar is that sugar is a preservative. Keeps mold and bacteria away. Especially when it's leathery and not crispy. But it isn't so good for us to eat so much.

Do they have dried brains for the zombies? Do mummys like dried brains? Are mummies dried zombies?

sierrasue said...

Thanks for the laughs !!!

The Good Luck Duck said...

Survivalist zombies would stockpile mummies! Ahaha!

Sue, my pleasure.

Spotted Dog Ranch: said...

just in case you run out, the grocery store in Hurricane also carries this stuff. the raspberries are good.

Steve said...

Hahaha! No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, no one!

The Good Luck Duck said...

Yeah! Love the raspberries! Now I need to Google "Hurricane."

HA Steve!

Tesaje said...

Thank you!

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