Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Taking care of business (every day).

Wild Blue Yonder, I got your super-secret message!  The super-super-cool part was that I didn't get it here, I got it while I was clicking around the Bayfield's blog, so GOOD STEALTHY WORK!  Except, now I don't know how to contact you (honest.  I tried 1.27 bazillion different ways).  I'm whotookmybucket (at) gmail (PERIOD) com.

I want a metal detector, and I want it to be very cheap and I want it to be the best kind ever.  I will not ever detect metal in Scotland, and here's why.   Scots are very protective of their ancestral treasures;  do not be fooled by the kilts.

Do you detect?  Is it fun?  Are you tired of it yet?  Does it irritate your wife?  [Wanna sell me his detector?] Please tell me which features I should get at all costs, and which ones aren't worth it.

I bought shoes today.  In the summertime we didn't have shoes to wear, but in the wintertime we'd all get a brand new pair from a mail-order catalog, money made by selling a hog.  Daddy always managed to get the money somewhere.  They're New Balance, which I learned today are made in the U.S.  Weird, huh?  Is that still legal?


A bloodmobile sets up in a parking lot here, and then turns Veiny on.  Is it my fault he needs narration from Big Lots' sidewalk?  HEY I'M FEELING pretty anemic and ALL I NEED IS A PINT AND I'LL BE feeling like myself again HEY BUDDY CAN YOU SPARE A PINT? 'cause I'm awful weak and I'd FEEL GREAT AND STAND UP TALL until I run out of wind and flop over so could you STOP IN AND GIVE ME SOME BLOOD I'd be much obliged JUST A HALF-QUART LIKE ON true blood.

 The last time Annie was this mortified by my behavior I had a plate cozy on my head at Applebee's.  The server came right over and that was the point.

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Anonymous said...

This is genius.

Gaelyn said...

You sure know how to have fun.

The Good Luck Duck said...


Teresa Evangeline said...

My eyes are the only detectors I own, and they're not doing their job as well as they used to. Planned obsolescence?

I do not detect, said C3PO.

And New Balance is in trouble I heard it on the news. So it must be true.

So, were you borned a coal miner's daughter, too?

The Good Luck Duck said...

It's a plot. You're issued a decent set of eyes, then 40 years later you're forced to install an add-on.

Hoo boy, next we'll be mail-orderin' our New Balance shoes from Taipei, and scrubbing our clothes on a washboard ever' day.

squawmama said...

Love your sense of humor... is it sense??? Well whatever I love it!
Have fun

The Good Luck Duck said...

Thanks, Donna. Some would call it a nonsense of humor.

Jammin' Along said...

I checked into detectors a few years back but can't remember what I learned. I blame it on 40itis so I guess I need a detector, an add on and a reminder. Sorry I can't help! Cheers! ~M

Marianne said...

You are TOO much! I almost fell outta my chair when I read your Veiny narration. It's PERFECT! Perhaps you could do one for the loopy fella that looms outside Moe's Southwest Grill in downtown Ithaca...

Anonymous said...

Go back & dance with veiny! That should do it...then we'll send you to America's Got Talent! Otay? BTW, New Balance are very good shoes - it's what the footsey doctors prescribe. OK, that was funny before I fixed my typos...darn.
TexCyn - annonymouse

ThE MidLiFe CrUiSeR said...

Blue vein got some moves! Good thing veins aren't white ;)

Soaring Sun said...

I'm working on developing my natural intuition, so I'm detecting without a metal detector.

It's no wonder Veiny feels anemic and falls over. He's blue. Veins take the blood to the heart to get oxygenated. They oughta have a red air dancer. That thing would stand up and dance! Of course, you'd probably have to call him Artery instead.

I'm perplexed by the Applebee's situation. Is there another way to get service there?

Anonymous said...

I just want to say I love kilts...and scots...especially a good scot in a kilt. A fine specimin that is to be admired all round.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Marianne, I think it would be very similar, substituting guacamole for AB+.

Cyn, I'm glad to know that about New Balance. And, I'm picturing the guy who went all over the world and danced badly but made a heartwarming video of it - I could go air dancing and inspire millions.

Nellie, I'm thinking ... thinking ... thinking ... thinking ... ACK!

Sue, that's a great idea! I'll get the latest intuition with all the gadgets - where should I shop? I think Applebee's is creating a culture of diners with tableware on their heads. It eliminates that obnoxious snapping and calling "MISS!" across the room.

Nina, when you go rummaging around trying to detect treasure in there, DO NOT CLAIM I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

Sherry said...

Hey Ducks - you are definitely behind in the ankle department. That was a week ago yesterday. It's just gobs of fun!!

AND I want you to know that the eye plot gets even more demonic in the 50's. So WATCH OUT!

Where are the pics of the applebee's hat??? And what do you want to detect with this super de dooper detector you are planning to acquire???

The Good Luck Duck said...

A week ankle? Sorry I missed the news! Were you running when it happened?

Oh noes to the ayes. I don't want to know that. Right now, I am subsisting only on Dollar General reading glasses, 2.50. That's the way I like it. And, I will detect buried treasure (NOT IN KILTS) and I will finance the luxurious lifestyle to which we hope to become accustomed with the gold dubloons and diamond rings I will find.

Wild Blue Yonder said...

Sent you an email.... super secret stealth style!!!