Sunday, September 18, 2011

This post is wrong on so many levels, you will not want your mom to read it. You may want to avert your own eyes.

Cedar Key, Florida

Cedar Key, Florida.

Could you direct me ... where is the ... I'm trying to find ... oh, just forget it, okay?



Annie figured out this was the entrance to the ocean.

We ate here at The Rusty Rim.  It's just around the corner from Coconuts.

We didn't have time for this kind of nonsense.

Do we look like we have all day?

Erstwhile turtle









Cedar Key is quiet, quiet, quiet, even on a Saturday, even in the almost-too-exciting Cedar Key Historical Museum.   Blahblahblah whisk brooms blahblah pencils blahblahblah Dr. Young's Ideal Rectal Dilators...

Used at Fort Clench?

We wanted to avoid looking too nervous, so we backed out quickly.

Cedar Key is apparently not much of a tourist town anymore.  Our docent told us that taxes are so high that motels have to charge "Tampa prices," but there's really nothing to do here but fish from the piers.

Manatee Springs State Park

Decades ago, I visited a clear spring that poured directly into the dark brown Suwanee, creating [what is this called?] a definite visible -cline at the interface.  [Don't Google "tannin cline" unless you're using 'safe search.'  I don't even know why.]  The description made me think this might have been the place.

"I thought you said Kevin Kline." 

The water is so low that no "-cline" could be seen.  While I was resting on a bench recovering from the disappointment,

Photobucketa park ranger confronted a group of young men:

Are you here on a boat?

Uh, yeah, yes!

With a lady inside it?

Er, huh?  Yeah!

This is a family park.

Suddenly, nothing mattered except getting to the dock before they removed the objectionable ____, so we beat feet down to the end of the boardwalk.  I looked around.  The girl in the bikini?  The woman with a bare midriff?  The ... blow-up doll?


No one seemed very scandalized, so I had to lay down again to rest my chronic disappointmentosis.  However, the fauna may have gotten overstimulated:

No one is scandalized by two Plecia nearctica Hardy, but three lends credence to the "slippery slope" argument.  I'm not here to judge, only to point and laugh.

This spring pukes out 400 million gallons of water a day.  That's 4600 gallons before you can say "one Mississippi."

Because they are late for the 80's.

September 19 update:  I'm simultaneously humbled and proud to announce that, if you Google "dr. young's ideal rectal dilators," this blog will appears on page 1.  I owe it all to you. 

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Sherry said...

Fort Clench....LMAO (get it hahahaha)

This is just the Cedar Key I visited last year. BUT sadly for blow up babes! Or was the babe at Manatee? I was there too and didn't see her.

And how did I miss Dr.Young's invention??? You are just such thorough tourists!! Thanks for filling me in. Hahahahaha

Four Windows with a View said...

That looks like a great place to visit. I'd add it to my list...the list I haven't started...because it would probably get lost while I'm packing up my house. Remind me later on, ok???

lesliewhozit said...

Who knew you could put "alia" at the end of curmudgeon and make it sound dirty? I'd have had to make time to see that...even considering that is what my husband professes to want to be when he grows that is. Can't wait fer that, really...
So, when I read your blog posts, ladies, I hear Simon & Garfunkle...."They've all gone to look for America." You are seeing the real deal!

Gaelyn said...

Almost makes me want to visit. You two really do find the Best places.

Karen and Al said...

Haven't been to Cedar Key for decades..and it still looks the same.

I think the rectal dilator would CAUSE nervousness...not eliminate it!

Steve said...

I never saw Dr Young's Rectal Dialators making a huge come back, then again hindsight is 20/20.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Ha! Sherry! No dilators and no blow-up doll - are you sure it's even the same Florida? Glad to be able to fill in the gaps and plug informational holes

Jeana, this whole mess will be here to remind you when you're ready.

Leslie, we definitely would have made time, except they were closed "until early October." And, you're right about making it sound dirty. Good job making my work so easy, Curmudgeonalia! Beats counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike.

Gaelyn, I think Cedar Key has underestimated the power of the rectal dilators to bring in tourist dollars. I should suggest remarketing to the Chamber of Commerce. Of course, the Gulf of Mexico is still nice, too.

Word, Karen. It seems like a vicious circle. And, would you believe I grew up here and this was my first visit?

Steve, the new winner and champeeen! You get the Stinkeye Award.

Cruzin2some said...

We visited the key years ago before fulltiming and just loved the laid back feeling and the water is beautiful

The Good Luck Duck said...

You're right - it's very relaxed there. Because everyone is afraid to be tense.

Gail and Rick (Gypsy Turtles) said...

Well, that does it. Cedar Key has moved to the top of the list. And the only thing funnier than Dr Young's Rectal Dilator is to Google it and learn everything you never wanted to know ;)

The Good Luck Duck said...

Right? I was aghastinated (fascinated and aghast) to find that you can still buy them on eBay.

lesliewhozit said...

aghastinate sounds like something you do to a bug, ya know? An education every minute, huh :)

lesliewhozit said...

P.S. ditto on Steve's award! :P~~

The Good Luck Duck said...

It does, doesn't it? After I took their picture, I aghastinated the love bugs.

TexCyn said...

Be afraid, be very, very afraid....and the box says they are "ideal" ===8-o

Still can't post with me name..grrumble & puppy paw to Blogger

TexCyn said...

Oh, now it's making a liar outta me!!!! Do I have to take the puppy paw back now or what?

squawmama said...

Hey we were there Saturday and ate at the Rusty Nail too but it was on top of Coconuts... LOL How come you didin't see me???? LOL
Have fun

The Good Luck Duck said...

Donna, are you serious?? We were there right about noon, sat along the wall of windows in about the middle. Were you there then? Did you ask about draft beer? Did you try to use the bathroom, but couldn't tell how many stalls there were? I mean, really, there were probably three couples in the whole place when we were there.

What! Cyn, do you have your identity back? Must you retract the puppy paw?

Anonymous said...

On occasion I fall asleep on the sofa and late at night I awaken to advertisements for products that appear very similar to Dr. Young's Ideal Rectal Stimulators. Who knew they were still manufactured today? They are called a slightly different name, but probably serve the same purpose as Dr. Young's invention.

I am generally more about the Atlantic side than the Gulf side but you make Cedar Key a quite attractive destination.

Still not worthy of commenting, LG

ThE MidLiFe CrUiSeR said...

Sooooooo glad the blow up chica was not seen in the museum near the apparatus. Just my $0.02

Soaring Sun said...

Wow, you've made it to the big time, the top result in a Google search! Someday I can say I knew you when.

The Good Luck Duck said...

LG, probably so, and NOT FOUND IN STORES!! If they were, they might be next to the "personal massagers" with a satisfied customer easing neck nervousness.

Nellie, you are SO RIGHT, and that would have been so risqué I wouldn't have dared blog it.

Sue, my 15 minutes is over, so you'll have to say you knew me (when?) September 19.

Levonne said...

Those rectal dilators reminded me how much I wanted to go to a medical museum during my recent travels. There is nothing more fascinating than some of those old medical instruments. Know of any good medical museums from your travels?

The Good Luck Duck said...

Levonne, the museum Annie wants to see one day is the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia. We haven't seen it personally, though. If we run across something, I'll let you know.

Anonymous said...

I hope you gals had some large marguerita's down there in the's the done thing you know. Love the jumping Mulet too!

Carolyn said...

I just googled Cedar Key... love it. How did I miss this. I traveled the entire peninsula. Says it's an island... Hahaaaa Annie...

I wanna go! rats

¡Vizcacha! said...

Nina, we had NO LIQUOR, which makes our good time even more inexplicable. I can't explic it.

Carolyn, it is an island, but you don't notice it because there's a causeway rather than a bridge. We saw one RV park on the way out, but it looked crowded and unappealing, but if we were stealthing in a car we could have stayed over somewhere.

Carolyn said...

Well? I stayed in Bahia Honda State Park for a few days and drove down to Key West several times. It seems I saw something or other but determined it to be a private community. can't remember. need to go back. love that area. just googled - Grassy Key.

The Dolphin Rescue Center --- can't remember which key --- was just stellar. They MADE me leave - they were closing the gates...

Carolyn said...

Grassy Key was the Dolphin Center... lol

Briana said...

Congrats on the Google ranking. ;)

The Good Luck Duck said...

Thanks, Briana! It's a dream-come-true for me.