Sunday, November 27, 2011

Keep this to yourself.

Everyone has a family secret.  I'm just not sure how to describe it.  It's like ... you know how you ... sometimes it doesn't ...
  • You're at a hockey game and a hug breaks out.
  • Traffic slows on the interstate for a four-car picnic.
  • A policeman in riot gear approaches you with a lavender-peppermint spritz.
How was I unique at this gathering?  I brought my wife, and everyone else in the house was my cousin somehow.

Cousin Savannah (shown with her mom, Cousin Jennifer


Cousin Colin, Cousin Jennifer, and cousin Savannah.  High on "Chicago."
Just say NO to musicals.

Cousin Ian, who is indifferent to the camera.

Cousin Savannah, who is not.
My new Cousin Aaron (his new Cousin Annie in the background)

Cousin Ellis and her GG, Cousin Lori

Lori is my straight-up first cousin,  and the matriarch of ... OW!  I'm just kiddi ... OW!  SHE'S NOT THE MATRIARCH!  OW!  SHE'S NOT EVEN A GRANDMOTHER QUIT IT!  

"Drop the fifth ace or I will cut you ... another slice of pie."

Cousin Jonathan, and

Cousin Cynthia

Cousin Annie and Cousin Roxi

Lori is Jennifer and Jonathan's mom, and Cynthia and Ellis are Jonathan's daughters, and Colin, Ian and Savannah are Jennifer and Aaron's kids, so Jonathan and Jennifer are my first cousins, once-removed and Ellis, Colin, Cynthia, Ian, and Savannah are my first cousins, twice-removed, and ... ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?

Did you correctly identify the:

  • Mormons 
  • anarchists
  • Buddhists
  • atheists
  • agnostics
  • libertarians
  • liberals
  • New Age-ers
  • centrists
  • homeopaths
  • allopaths
  • orthomolecularists
Hint:  it's not easy;  no one was only one thing.  No one is ever only one thing.



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TexCyn said...

Can you refer me to a good shrink please...also, so you offer any kind of compensation?? Cuz I's cornfused... 8-0

Bob said...


I think that was a sound that came from inside my brain.
This is probably why I'll never meet up with all my cousins. Just too daunting.

Good lookin' bunch though! Even the, that lady there. I mean, that young slip of a thing.
(nervous laughter)

Rubye Jack said...

What a great post. It looks like everyone had a good Thanksgiving weekend with family all around. I wish I still had contact with all my cousins but I think we are scattered all about this country.

Sherry said...

WOW it was a cousin comingling. Love the look on Savannah's face in the first pic and the smug grins of the royalty at the end!
Looks like fun times with Family - what a concept!! I'm not sure I'd remove them like you did.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Rubye Jack, using cat toes to count, I have 23 living first-cousins. Only two speak to me (the discerning ones with good values). This cuts cousin reunions down to a perfect size.

They are a fine and handsome crew! The weird and wonderful is strong in our genes.

Sherry, it wasn't at all like the movies had led me to expect. I'll stop removing them now. And, Cyn, if I knew a good therapist WOULD I STILL BE LIKE THIS?

TexCyn said...

Ok...good point..:::Snicker:::

Soaring Sun said...

Wow, they are all so blond! It brought back memories of visiting my own Scandihoovian relatives back in Snooseville. Except it looked like you guys were having a really good time, and I didn't see any pickled herring in any of the pics.

Jim and Sandie said...

Holy cow. Lost track in there somewhere. But since the heart is bigger after, nothing else matters.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Sue, they are very blond. Cynthia's hair is actually almost silver. She let me French braid it - what a sport! There wasn't even a tuna hot dish involved in the meal planning, and none of us were feeling guilty about anything.

Jim and Sandie, it's true. And, all you need to know for the exam is "cousins."

154275 said...

23 cousins and only two speak to you?
Do you give an on-line course in running off extraneous relatives? If not, could you?

ThE MidLiFe CrUiSeR said...

You know, I gotta say.... I LOVE your point. This is why labeling is for product packaging and NOT for humans. Love your family and the both of youz!

Steve said...

Which one loses it at the family gatherings by stripping down, coating themselves completely in ranch dressing, and screams out "I'm Melting"?

That person right there, is a kindred spirit!

Wild Blue Yonder said...

Too much for me to digest on a Sunday, have to hit this one again on Friday.


But I like the love at the end.

Donna K said...

Cousins by the long as the heart grows it's all good. Whatta bunch! didn't see any offhand, except maybe nice lady with the pie.

EcoCatLady said...

Holy Moly! I've always sort of felt grateful that my family is so small... because they're all completely crazy (like not in a good way crazy) so at least there's only 4 of them to deal with. Not a single cousin either. But maybe if it were a bigger group, there would be at least one other sane person I could relate to. Of course, that sort of assumes that I fall into the "sane" category, and that might be a stretch.

But I've gotta say, the look on Savannah's face in the fist picture is absolutely priceless!

Larry said...

I say Whatt?

squawmama said...

Looks like all the cousins had a GREAT time....
Have fun

Annie said...

Awwww! I love this post! We are all such a mish mash. Email forthcoming, but wanted to share this:

Seen it already?

Dough, Dirt & Dye

The Good Luck Duck said...

Annie, thanks for that link - it's great! I hadn't seen it before, nor did I have an inkling that there are three million of us! I guess there are "only" 300,000 of us under 55. Wow. We're as big as a state.

Cat, I think higher numbers might dilute the crazy. Concentrated bonkers sounds hard.

Steve, there was no ranch dressing, but there was a cousin coated in cheeseball.

Nellie: SQUEEZE!!

Ha, Rodney! I'm afraid the cure is worse than the disease. No one would go through what it took to de-cousin them all - it's easier to coat yourself in ranch dressing.

Wild Blue, it may not be easier when you return. Just pull an all-nighter and you'll have it by morning.

Donna, it plumped my heart up even more than my stomach.

Barbara and Ron said...

That first picture is just priceless! Whoever they all were, it looks like a good time.

LG61820 said...

I get an edumacation every time I visit you! •orthomolecularists, who knew? I think I work with one. I'm gonna keep my eye on her now. LG

Contessa said...

...and a great time was had by all!

The Good Luck Duck said...

It was a great time.

LG, you have to watch them hard, because it looks like they're just swallowing some prescription drug or a handful of Advil, but they're really taking vitamins! It's disgusting. This is not what this country is about.

Karen and Al said...

yumm....Cheerwine...haven't had any for a long time...

The Good Luck Duck said...

Karen, do they sell it further south? This was hidden in an obscure nook of a little store.