Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Bullish on Texas.

I'd like a steer, please.
A chubby, middle-aged fulltimer decides to try bull riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. Roxi mounts the bull unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It bucks and twists and Roxi begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the bull's horns, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around its neck, but she slides down its side anyway. The beast keeps bucking, encouraged by its slipping rider.


Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the bull to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of its pounding hooves and enormous mass as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

This one has the crazy in him.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when Annie abandons her shopping cart to unplug the bull.

Herd that one?

This is cow country, and they come in all flavors. I saw black cows and white cows, cows with wattle and cows with horn. Brown cows, and golden-brown cows.


We'll head out to Padre Island tomorrow morning to settle in for a few days. These long days of roping and hard riding are taking their toll.

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Teresa Evangeline said...

Ride 'em, Urban Cowgirl!

What I want to know is, when did they start making these kiddie rides anatomically correct (see pic #1)?

And am I correct in reading that you're going to Padre, as in South Padre? Either Padre, I'm jealous.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Seriously. Annie said Are those ... yep.

We're going to the regular Padre, with not as much south in it.

Sherry said...

WOW, that was some ride! They don't teach you how to do those things in Ohio. Bet you were glad for Annie to the rescue!

Your next stop is a place on my list if I EVER get back to Texas so I'm waitin' to hear all about it.


Cruzin2some said...

Annie has quickly become a real Texas Cowgirl. Wow, We were on the edge of our seats hoping all would end well!!!!!

Judy and Emma said...

Good to hear you are still full of bull after your bird brain time up here. :)

Jim and Sandie said...

I was scared to death that somebody wasn't going to come out of that ride alive. That was a really ferocious looking animal.

Rubye Jack said...

You know you guys are crazy right!
In a mighty good way of course.

I was looking at your little map thing and was wondering if after Padre whatever if you're heading down to Mexico or on through Texas?
If you head on through Texas, I've read a few blogs from an area known as Terlingua, close to Big Bend and thereabouts. I tell you, if I was young this is where I would be. Or, if I was old and had money, this is where I would be.

michael ultra said...

Try them BBQ'ed. Let me know what you think.(cow wattle aka brisket)

Tammy said...

I think you might miss all the Bull when you meander to other places.

Maybe you should head back and grab that slick looking bull and throw him in your rig.

Paul and Marti Dahl said...

What good is life if you don't live it on the edge?

I don't know many people brave enough to try riding that bull.

You have my respect!

PS: Did you get your quarters back after you fell off and didn't complete the ride? ;c)

TexCyn said...


Page said...

Maybe you should wear a helmet next time. Scrambled brains aren't much fun. And I'm not talking about scrapple.

Next up - tackle the Texas two-step!

heyduke50 said...

not sure but the cow may be the Texas state mammal...

Larry said...

You need to be especially careful of the cows in the bottom picture. They appear to be full of calories.

The Good Luck Duck said...

Sherry, Padre may be hard to get to while you're avoidin' Texas, but I'll be sure to sling the bull about it.

D&D, sorry to scare you. It all ended well, more or less.

Ha! Judy!

Jim and Sandie, it was hairy, and not just the bull. Did you see his crazy eye?

RJ, I have also read a disproportionate amount about Terlinqua, and figured it must have some special appeal. We do want to go to Big Bend, so maybe a tour through that area is called for. My (not-so) secret dream is to be a homesteader, and you know, milk cows like this one and raise meatless chickens. I'll figure out the details as I go.

Michael, Is that where brisket comes from? See, this blog is even educational for me.

Not a bad idea, Tammy. Then we'll have the bull wherever we go.

Paul and Marti, thank you (slight bow). That's the bad part of the story - NO REFUNDS.


Scrapple is brains, Page??? YUCK!!! I need to do the Texas-two-step right now!

Duke, I believe it. It used to be people, but the cows outcuted us; cunning evolutionary strategy!

Oh, those bottom cows terrify me, Larry. You can outlast a bull, but the calories stay forever.

JC said...

If you get up around Port Aransas be sure to look up The Gaff bar. A couple years ago, on Saturday afternoons, they would have belt sander races. They have 2 tracks, belt sander wide, 70 ft long, with an actual drag strip starter light in between. They also make some of the best pizza I've ever had. If that doesn't excite you enough, on Sunday afternoon they have chciken s__t bingo. With betting. Cost me $25 to find out I'm not very good at the game.


The Good Luck Duck said...

That endorsement leaves me speechless. I will definitely keep it in mind. I may not be able to get it out of my mind.

Andra Watkins said...

How could anyone resist such a temptation?? I am glad you survived the experience, Roxanne. And, of course, told US about it.

Russ Krecklow said...

You should seriously consider raising buffalo. Almost everywhere you go now, they are serving "buffalo wings". Meatless chickens would be nothing compared to raising lots of buffalo with lots of wings!! Now that would be something to sling around, wouldn't it?

Soaring Sun said...

Wow, what an exciting ride!

My kid still has a scar from the stitches he got during a wild ride on a rocking horse many years ago. Did you get any scars, besides the psychological ones?

Janie and John said...

Ride 'em Cowgirl!! You always make me laugh, today is no exception. He-he-he-he!!

¡Vizcacha! said...

Andra, I know you would have done it, too, but you would have stayed on the full eight seconds.

Russ, I can't believe you're sharing this idea with me. The PNW is crying out for something like this, and if you could get them to grow boneless wings, not only would you have a biocontainment nightmare, you'd have a bestselling product.

Sue, I'm still saddled with trauma.

Janie and John, I ride to please.